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Anyone else realize how sad the word ‘terminal’ is, and just not just in the terms of ‘terminal cancer’? The very essence of the word, according to the English language is ‘occurring at or forming the end of a series, succession, or the like; closing; concluding.’
So many things we do on a daily basis result in an end. Take a subway terminal, bringing you to that new place, be it for one day or the rest of your life. The same with airport terminals. You take the moment to climb that airplane, and you may never see the ground you just stood on to get to that terminal ever again. Every pebble you stepped on in the parking lot. The parking area that you waiting at in the blistering cold, writing doodles in the formed frost on the window, while you await that trolley that’s going to take you to the next stop in the airport. You greet him, you may never see him again. The man who helps you find a spot for your luggage and gives up his seat so you can get moving onward to your final destination. It’ll be your last time seeing him and you did no more thank acknowledge him and appreciate what he did. Then the trolley starts moving and you get go to the loading gates where you kindly allow the pregnant women who you let out first and give a hand with her luggage. You know nothing of where she is going, but you know she’ll make it and she’ll have that kid and he’ll grow up and become someone, maybe like you; who knows his future. Passing through the airport, you witness all these people; this mismatch of people rushing by. All making contact, be it bristling against your bundled-tight coat, making eye-contact and apologizing for their 3 year old who stands in line in front of you as you await for your TSA inspection. You progress through the line, maybe you get wanded or you get scanned. It’s an inconvenience sure, but what harm is it actually doing to you? You’ll likely never see that person ever again. You sit in the boarding area and you await your row to be called. You feel that anxiety of flying, deep down in your gut. You feel that tinge of jealousy when the first row customers get called first, then even rows, then odd. But for what? These are people you’ve seen ONCE in your life. You have no right to feel contempt towards them. Just like when you board the plane. The luggage bay is full? Slide your carry-on under your chair. See someone already having an awful day, be it bringing their children or just the look in their face? Offer to pull your luggage down (should you have any), and offer it to them. One tiny thing you are doing for a complete stranger and yet, you may have brightened their whole business or pleasure trip. And as you lift off, you may notice people uncomfortable, unhappy, bothered by this or that on the trip.
Just remember, they are escaping something too. It could be work, a vacation, an abusive relationship, family, but they are looking for the same terminal disconnect that you are.
Everyone is leaving, going some place or another. That terminal disconnect.
It’s up to you to make it better for them.
Being gay or even a drag queen does not make you an expert in anything trans* related. If you’re cis, you shut the fuck up and listen to actual trans people, OK?
Kindly stay the fuck out of our things!
your friendly neighbourhood trans woman
Reblog to cosign.
Case in point, Ru Paul.
Agreed. Just because you think you are an expert in all things in the LGBTQ community doesn’t necessarily make it true.
I want to put something into prospective and just one of many, many reasons why I back same-sex marriage.
Here’s just some of the benefits that married people have over non-married people:
Why can’t everyone’s rights to marriage be equal?
A few things to think about:
Marriage has a different, special, privileged legal status that legal planning cannot duplicate. Whether that’s a good reason for you, personally, to get married is another matter. But there are definitely benefits that you can’t get through paperwork. For example: What if you run into financial problems? Let’s say you end up with huge medical bills for something totally unforeseen and have to go bankrupt or have creditors come after you. Your house is basically just owned by two pals who invested in a house together. It’s not the joint property of a married couple, so there’s no protections for an innocent non-debtor spouse. The federal bankruptcy laws are what they are; you cannot change them through powers of attorney.
What if you are charged with a crime? There’s no spousal privilege if you’re not married because we don’t have “friendship privilege”; either you testify against each other as to private things in your relationship, or you get held in contempt.
What if there’s a problem with the way your will is drafted? Or what if it’s destroyed? Let’s say you revoke your will, intending to make a new one, and die before you can do it. Your money goes to your next of kin, not to the friend you invested in a house with - and she wouldn’t get to keep the whole house either, just his/her half. If your next of kin inherits, they could force the sale of the house if your husband/wife/partner can’t buy their half from them immediately.
Then there’s the power of attorney itself. It might not be as bulletproof as you think. Let’s say your wife’s in a coma after a bad accident. A relative could challenge it and might be able to get a judge to give them decision-making authority. You’re more like a roommate with a power of attorney for little emergencies, they could argue, like needing to get something out of a safe deposit box; life and death matters should be decided by family members, and if you’re not married, you’re just a long-time boyfriend, POA or not.
There are others that I can’t think of off the top of my head. Sure - you’re unlikely to need these protections, but when the situation arises, you might be suddenly grateful to be legally married. There are so many invisible privileges attached to marriage that we don’t think of until an emergency arises. If getting a power of attorney and having the house in two names were good enough, gay marriage wouldn’t be such a big deal - civil unions would be good enough. They’re not, because “married” gets you a special legal status. We give that special status as a reward for people committing to a permanent, stable relationship and therefore making society more stable overall (at least, that’s the theory). Your status as two good friends living together, even with powers of attorneys, is weaker than that of a married couple. If a situation requiring the benefits of marriage never arises, then you’ll never notice any difference. The secular reason to get married would be for legal protections you get with the status change. It helps protect you both now, and your spouse if you die first. But it does entangle you. If you want to be able to get out of the relationship easily and go your separate ways if necessary, then don’t get married. It’d be messier to split up. But if you’re completely certain that you’re a permanent family of 2, then marriage is the way to go. If you’re totally sure you’ll be together permanently, I can’t think of why you wouldn’t get married. But as I said, it does entangle you, and you can’t change your mind down the road without serious consequences.
Understandable. I can see how this could affect my post. I appreciate the feedback.
Of course. You’ve got a good blog going on and it’s really great that you can take constructive criticism without flipping.
Thanks! I want to talk about things with a universal view point. So many blogs lean one direction or the other. I want to be neutral. And I have no issues speaking about issues about men because there are a lot of men that don’t quite understand what they are doing and if I can make an impact in one person, that’s all that matters.